For those who love or admire me for jwhat ever odd-ball reason I have provided a quick start guide for those who want to adopt my ways or lifestyle. The simple yet classy way to indulge and skate by in life.
1) Always keep current with the latest, greatest, cutting-edge, trending news-worthy events and popular areas of interest (fashion, cars, comps & phones, politics, music etc). This is important in conversation and connecting with
2) When in doubt or didn’t understand something, just smile and giggle. People can’t help but to think you’re endearing rather than an idiot.
3) When you space out or couldn’t make out someone’s mumblings, just smile and giggle. People can’t help to think you find them endearing rather than an idiot.
4) When someone you find utterly repulsive hits on you, just giggle and say, “You’re so silly.” You help them save face by making it seem that they made a funny joke although their delusion of having a shot with you is a funny joke. Laugh with them while at them inside your head. Or pretend you didn’t hear them if possible.
5) Always be polite, cordial and have a positive attitude. Avoid all confrontations and arguing wth others. Your time is more valuable than that.
6) Leave hard, arduous labor for others, there’s always someone else to pick up the slack. If all else fails sloppily do the task until it frustrates someone into doing for you.
7) Learn and live my motto in regards to doing an undesirable task, “Why do it today when you have tomorrow.” If tomorrow never comes at least you spent it doing something you wanted rather than wasting it on something you didn’t want to do.
8) Learn and live my motto, “Why pay for something if you can get it for free.” Keep your money if you can obtain something at zero cost to you, that being given or paid for by a willing participant.
9) You’re not cheap you’re financially savvy.
10) You do not free load you you fund raise.
11) You are not lazy where others do your responsibilities you outsource.
12) You do not look and use people for their money or things you find external resources and reallocate capital or goods for internal use.
13) You do not lie you embellish. You do not double dip you optimize.
14) You’re not conceited and do not brag you are highly knowledgeable with the benefits of your goods and services and effectively promote and market them.
15)You don’t waste time on facebook or stumbleupon. You’re an expert in social media and Internet research management.
16) You are not a horny slut you are a hghly-driven expert in public relations specializing in male market segment.
17) What ever chance you get talk or mumble to yourself. When people ask what you have said just reply with, “nothing”. This always throws people off. If you want to urk them reply instead with “nevermind”. Or “I’m not talking to you” when you are the only two in the room for an extra creep factor.
18) Break rules when you can.
19) Break social rules when you shouldn’t. Like ask inappropriate questions, invade personal space, be politically incorrect, make weird comments, compliment odd things or share extremely personal information.
20) Always opt for the best, never settle for less, love yourself, love others, have fun, be happy, learn, travel, make love, live life to its fullest.
Quick fail-safe: If ever in trouble or questioned use the following phrase exactly, “My parents are doctors. I have a MBA (Masters in Business) and live in High Desert”. Somehow this restores all credibility and trust if under the gun.